Picture this: You know someone personally who has a thrilling, exotic life. Some friend of yours – maybe your sister, or your spouse – teaches in Japan, or writes in a cabin in the Rockies, or flies to Hamburg to make a deal with Mercedes-Benz. Your friend is in a beautiful, loving relationship.
You daydream about how great it must be to live like that, but know it will never happen to you. You’ve stepped back from the exciting opportunities that came your way, because you wanted safety. Whatever courage is required to take risks, you’re pretty sure you don’t have it. You’re hugging the shore, but you can’t take your eyes off the horizon.
A lot of people hug the shore and are perfectly comfortable hugging it – but you are not comfortable. You are full of longing and regret. Deep down, you want adventure. You know perfectly well that you’ve stayed at your job too long. You know you’ve got more of the explorer inside you than you ever use. You know that a different kind of person would have sprung into action, seized the day, moved to new territories long ago, but somewhere you learned to hang on to what you have and not try for more.
So, do you cling to safety or do you have the ripping roar of success inside of you, eagerly welcoming the unknown and willing to risk your comfort zones? By answering the following questions you will learn to determine that answer:
1. Are you always in rehearsal? By that I mean, do you take courses or learn a skill but never really put your learning to any use?
2. When it’s time to take a trip or redesign your bedroom, do you find yourself making endless preparations, constantly hesitating, calling friends to check out their opinions on each action?
3. Do you find yourself fiercely resistant to being pushed or hurried one bit more than suits you? Do you ignore deadlines until they’re dangerously near and become stubborn if someone tries to warn you?
4. Do you hang on to things too long – even bad things, like bad relationships or items of clothing, appliances, memberships that have outworn their usefulness?
5. Do you complain there’s no time to do what you really want – but actually spend a considerable amount of your day watching television or puttering around the house?
6. Do you watch other people’s lives as though they were a spectator sport? People who cling to safety all of their lives are unusually interested in the lives of other people – famous or familiar. This interest may stem from the fact that they feel their own lives aren’t full enough – or maybe they’re watching for tips on how to escape!
7. Do you often think about changing your life, but never get past daydreaming about it?
If you answered yes to three or more of those, you’re a “cling to safety person”, and you’ve got some thinking to do. Safety is riskier than you realize.
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